In Windsor–Essex, finding love across the border is just part of the dating landscape — especially when apps match users by distance, not citizenship. But as Canada-U.S. relations grow tense, those cross-border romances are facing new challenges.
When Katoon Wongwilart moved to Windsor in 2019, she was surprised by how common cross-border dating seemed — then experienced it firsthand when Tinder matched her with an American.
“The two of us just clicked when we started talking,” she said.
Wongwilart matched with Matthew Moilanen in 2021.
She lived in Windsor. He was in Richmond, Michigan.
They managed the challenges of long-distance dating through the COVID-19 pandemic — but now, as they near their four-year anniversary and start thinking about marriage, politics are making things more complicated.
“At first, it wasn’t really affecting us,” Wongwilart said.
“We were just worried about grocery prices and being mindful of buying Canadian.”
That changed as tensions between Canada and the U.S. escalated, fueled by trade tariffs and political posturing.
“I no longer feel comfortable traveling to the States by myself or with my partner — unless it’s something that I have to do or if it’s an emergency,” she said.
“I just prefer not to deal with immigration if we have to.”
The decision came with sacrifices.
Trips were cancelled or postponed — including plans to visit Moilanen’s family for her birthday, his mom’s birthday and the Fourth of July.
They had also hoped to go camping and travel up north in Michigan — a spot Wongwilart had always wanted to see.
“I just prefer not to risk it,” she said.
Moilanen said he understands where his partner is coming from – and that they’ll probably vacation in Canada instead.
He said he hasn’t experienced any issues crossing into Canada, so he’s been doing that more often so the pair could still see each other as often.
He also said the topic isn’t as hot stateside as it is in Canada.
“I don’t particularly pay too much attention to it,” he said. “It’s not like everyday discourse… but she’s a little more anxious about it than I am.”
Wongwilart said their plan had been for him to eventually move to Windsor, but they were unsure if rising tensions would delay that.
“We’re definitely anxious,” she said.
“We haven’t really talked about the ins and outs or the details about everything, but we have expressed our frustration with what’s happening.”
Don’t let politics ruin your love life
Relationship expert Laura Bilotta said they’re not the only couple feeling that kind of pressure.
“It’s not like dating wasn’t hard enough as it is,” said the matchmaker and dating coach behind Single in the City.
“But now you’re adding this on top of it.”
Bilotta said she’s been hearing from clients who are feeling stuck — both in their romantic prospects and in navigating political differences.
“I got a call from a girl who said she’s having a hard time finding someone who shares her views,” she said.
“She leans more left and the guys she’s meeting swing right. She asked me if it’s possible to get along, and I said, oh sure it is. It is possible.”
Bilotta said while politics might be too heavy for a first date, they’re conversations couples should have — respectfully — as they get more serious.
“At the end of the day relationships are more about how you treat each other,” she said.
“I really am passionate about politics right now and I’d have a hard time dealing with a partner who didn’t at least listen to where I was coming from.”
She said criticism from Canadians who feel dating Americans or crossing the border is unpatriotic shouldn’t interfere with personal happiness.
“We all have one life to live and that life isn’t meant to be lived just to make other people happy,” she said.
“So if crossing the border to go see your partner is something that’s important to you, them you need to continue doing that.
“You have a right to make your own choices, to bring your own happiness.”
For Wongwilart and Moilanen, that means continuing to show up for each other — even if that means temporarily rerouting their plans.
“I don’t think things will go back to quote unquote normal -- what it was like a couple of years ago,” Wongwilart said.
“But hopefully things would improve.”
